LOVE…. unfortunately our education system doesn’t provide us with a curriculum for loving, communicating, relating and creating successful intimate relationships.
We come of age and endeavour to navigate dating, falling in love and forming lasting, satisfying relationships. We learn as we go, modelling others, growing from our experiences, balancing heart and head and generally doing the best we can with what we have and what we know at the time.
But no matter whether you’re single or in a relationship. Whether it’s been years since you’ve dated or you seem to bounce around meeting all the ‘wrong’ types of men. Whether your current relationship is nurturing you or whether it’s a little lacklustre and could use some inspiration to ignite the connection again…
We are all still learning how to cultivate, share and experience more love and joy in our lives.
On my journey to becoming a Love Coach and with almost 20 years of failed relationships, break-ups and bad dates, I’ve literally read hundreds of books on human behaviour, personal growth, dating and relationships… and so I’ve decided to compile a short list of some of my favourites to help you expand your knowledge of love, connection, communication and relationships. Some contain useful tools and questionnaires to help you understand how the theories apply to you and your partner.
BOOKS give us the opportunity to evolve our thinking and learn from the wisdom and experience of others.
THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES: The Secret to Love that Lasts – Gary Chapman
Recommended reading for all of my private coaching clients, this is a ground breaking book for understanding how we all have a preference to receive love in different ways. This simple system for identifying your own and your partner’s love languages takes the guesswork out of expressing love and provides a framework for understanding your blocks to closeness and how to deepen love with your partner. This is a must read for anyone who wants to be a wonderful lover and also learn how to easily and authentically help their partner to understand their needs.
Take the Quiz now and find out your love language www.5lovelanguages.com
MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS – Dr John Gray
No doubt you have heard of the No.1 best selling relationship book of all time. (and if so, but you haven’t yet read it…. go grab a copy NOW!) If there ever was an ultimate handbook for understanding male and female behaviour in relationships, this would have to be it! No further explanation needed.
If you are currently single, also check out John Gray’s MARS AND VENUS ON A DATE which breaks down the 5 stages of attraction to commitment. Helping shed a light on the unique psychology and often confusing behaviours of both males and females that occur across each of the stages.
ATTACHED: The New Science of Adult Attachment – Amir Levine, Rachel S.F. Heller.
This book is a game changer for anyone who is challenged with insecurities and anxiousness in relationships. It takes infant attachment theory and applies it to adult intimate relationships explaining how we form connections with others. It helps us to understand why we are attracted to certain types of people, repeating similar relationship patterns and why communicating our needs can be emotional and frustrating (and how we can learn to communicate more authentically and effectively) You can take the questionnaire to find out your attachment style and partner compatibility HERE
WHY HIM? WHY HER?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type – Helen Fisher
Anthropologist and TED speaker Helen Fisher uses a research based questionnaire to determine your love personality type and who you might have chemistry with. Her book offers a fresh perspective on relationships, whether you’re still looking for ‘the one’ or keen to strengthen the one you have. The scientifically developed theory shows you how to discern, attract and maintain the right romantic connection for lasting love.
THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON IN LOVE – Elaine Aron
Does love feel a little too overwhelming and emotional at times? Do you often question yourself.. am I overreacting? or justified in my feelings? Or do you perhaps hide yourself away from romantic connections altogether, putting it in the ‘too hard’ basket? Then you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). If so, there will be plenty of light bulb moments and gems contained in this book that will help you learn how to get the most our of your relationships while staying true to yourself and your needs in a peaceful and authentic way.
GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT: A Guide for Couples – Harville Hendrix
Aah, finally a book that helps us understand why we choose who we choose, even though they may seem like the worst possible choice sometimes! It explains why our partners often trigger us and how it relates to repeating old and familiar patterns from our childhood. It also contains exercises and activities to strengthen the bond in your relationship.
DEEPER DATING: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy – Ken Page
Ken’s book totally busts the myth about modern dating advice and why it most often leads to shallow, superficial love and game playing. The book talks about why it’s so important to allow our vulnerable, authentic selves to show through and to create connection based on our unique gifts and imperfections. It offers exercises, practical tips and sound advice about creating that elusive deeply connected relationship that we all desire.
So whether you are a book collector (or library visitor), prefer audio or kindle.. here’s some wonderful additions for your love library!
Happy reading/listening and may the lessons and insights contained within these wonderful texts bring you plenty of ‘Ah-Ha” moments and much love!
Are you experiencing challenges in your love life right now?
If you are feeling anxious, stressed or heartbroken over a relationship issue, a break-up or dating disaster then please reach out and take advantage of a complimentary 45 minute Clarity Coaching Session (phone/skype) where I can help you with some insight, support and guidance with your situation.
Life is precious and we all deserve peace and happiness – so if you feel that you can use some support in your love life right now — then I’d be happy to help you.