Why is love so hard for the smart conscious driven woman?

Why is love so hard for the smart conscious driven woman?

Why does love seem much harder to find and maintain in modern times? 

Yes, this is definitely the case, especially for intelligent, successful women.
But why? And what can we do about it?

Camille Thurnherr, Dating Coach from Ignite Mr Right interviewed me recently and we explored this very topic…

The real reasons so many gorgeous, talented women are still single and struggling in love…



No matter how successful or accomplished we become or how much we tell ourselves that we don’t need a man.. We all have a desire to love and be loved. To share our lives and the journey of highs and lows with a wonderful supportive partner and team mate.

Love and connection is what we are all here for.

Marianne Williamson shared in an interview recently that we all are part of a transitional generation. With the emergence of societal permission for women to go out into the world and do what ever we want. We don’t have to just be wives or just be mothers. This liberation has provided us with choice about what we want to do with our future.

In doing so we have been freed to express fully our masculine self as well as our feminine self, and this has also given rise to a phenomenon which Carl Yung calls ‘the father’s daughter’.

Many of us grew up in families where our sense of worth was intrinsically tied in to how successful we were are school and how successful we became in our careers.  We received recognition and attention from our fathers who would tell us they were ‘proud’ of our achievements.  The problem with this is that inadvertently we received the message that if we ‘achieved’ we would be loved.

So we set out to create success in life and in our careers. This mode of operating requires us to channel our masculine side by being the generator, the doer, the driver, the achiever.

Unfortunately this same psychological orientation and approach that might make us successful at work, is likely to make us fail at love. Because successful love connections involve a balance between masculine and feminine. Yet we are so busy ‘achieving’ that we are less often in our ‘feminine’ mode receptive for love and connection with a man.  And we can’t use the same strategies of doing, driving, and controlling to form a healthy loving relationship. It just doesn’t work that way.
Men don’t love us for what we do, they love us for who we are – Marianne Williamson
Research has shown that during our work day, busy driven women even have a more masculine brain chemistry.  So if you’ve ever wondered why it can feel like it takes time to ‘wind down’ after a day at work… That’s because it can take up to 30mins for our brain chemistry to switch out of this masculine state and for us to feel relaxed.

Check out the video interview for more cool tips and insights about why the modern woman’s approach to love and dating doesn’t work and what you can do instead to create a beautiful lasting love. xx

Leave a reply

Get Fast Relief for Heartache & Dating Anxiety

This wonderful free guide offers quick and effective tips and techniques to ease feelings of sadness, insecurity and anxiousness associated with your love for more peace, harmony and confidence.
download now